Day 105- I feel like my heart is going to pound out of my chest

I've been really sad lately. I've been hearing about Trevor's trip to Alnwick, England a lot lately. I am so sad that we have to spend two and a half months apart. When I think about it I just want to cry. 

So, now I'm looking at 10 weeks (end of May- beginning of July) of no hugs, no cuddling, no sex, no kissing, no holding hands, nothing. I'll be able to see him on Skype but that is going to make it harder at first, I feel. This whole experience is going to involve lots of tears on my part. I'm trying to be strong, to make leaving easier for him but it seems like he's not going to have that hard of a time leaving me. My eyes are welling up and my throat is all tight like I need to cry. I need to hold it together. I can't fall apart about this.


I just want to spend as much time as humanly possible with him until the end of May. I'm going to miss him so much, it hurts already.


I'm still going to keep the blog updated while he's gone. We will still be together while he's gone and I'm going to need an outlet.


I don't want this trip to have a negative effect on our relationship